Is This All There Is?

Feb 22 2007

Question:

My wife and I were very disturbed over the funeral of a friend. They talked about his hobbies and what he meant to his family and things like that, but there wasn’t any mention of God of the hope of life after death.  Is this the trend in memorial services today?

Billy Graham’s crappy Answer:

I suspect this is much more common today then in previous generations because over time, our society has become much more secular and materialistic.  Even if someone was not a believer, his or her relatives usually wanted the person’s funeral to have a religious overtone.  But if someone has no belief in God or in eternity – as is true of many people today, then they only believe in this world.    But this life is not all there is!  We were created in the image of God, and we each have an immortal soul that lives forever – either with God in heaven, or in that place of absolute despair called hell. Have you put your faith in Christ for your salvation?

Jen’s Response:

I am a Humanist and what the questioner describes is a humanist memorial service, or secular memorial service.  I am very familiar with them and have even organized and led one myself.  I am a friend of several celebrants coming out of Humanist and Jewish humanist traditions.  Having participated in both religious and non-religious memorials, I can say that for me, I like the Humanist memorials much better.  The religious elements of traditional memorials is very distracting, unnecessary and confusing.  I would rather focus on my grief and sorry and remember the dead, then try to sort out a Catholics beliefs about purgatory and heaven as preached by a minister.

Humanist memorials are quite moving, specifically because they are designed for the living.  A humanist memorial service helps the survivors come to terms with the death of their friend and/or loved one.  By remembering their life you celebrate their life, and the impact they had on yours. You have an opportunity to say goodbye (an opportunity you may not have had otherwise.)  In short, they help the living come to terms with their loss. 

Because most Humanists are non-religious, and therefore don’t believe in heaven or hell, there is no need to help the deceased get into heaven.  And, even if there is a heaven or hell, it is highly unlikely that a memorial service will have an impact on the routing of the deceased anyway, so the focus in on helping the living. Further, it the deceased wasn’t a religious person, then to give them a religious memorial simply because some of the surviving families members might want it, would be like insulting the very person you are supposed to be memorializing.    Why not respect them and remember them for who they were and not who you wanted them to be.

It is very selfish of someone to dictate his or her religious needs on others.  You might want a religious ceremony for yourself, but if others don’t want or need that, then who cares.  If you are truly going to honor and respect the dead, then you don’t have a religious memorial service for a non-religious individual. 

To learn more about Humanist celebrants or to find one in Florida, visit the Humanists of Florida Association website at: http://humanistcelebrants.org/

Outside Florida – but still in the USA visit:   http://www.humanist-society.org/  for a complete list.

Finally, if you are in another country, find your countries Humanist association and they will have a list of celebrants local to you. http://iheu.org/geography