How Strong is your Faith?

 July 15 2005

Question:

I have a friend at work who’s very religious, and he keeps telling me I need to believe in Jesus.  I’ve told him I already believe in Jesus: doesn’t everyone?  But that doesn’t seem to satisfy him.  What am I missing?

Billy Graham’s answer:

I suspect your friend knows that the word “believe” actually has several meanings – and it’s important to understand which is the right one. Let me give an example.  If you had stopped me (before boarding a plane) and asked, “Do you believe this airplane can get you to your destination?  I would have said, “Of course I do.’  But then suppose the time came for me to actually get on that plane – and I refused!  I think you’d probably say to yourself, “He doesn’t believe in the airplane after all.”  That’s the way it is with Christ.  They have never committed themselves to Him!  In other words, they don’t really believe in Him.

Jen’s response:

For the record, not everyone believes.  That being said, lets get to the question at hand.

Graham apparently believes that even though people say they believe, they don’t really believe.  More important is what your friend is doing.  He doesn’t believe you.  Why?  He can’t know what is in your heart, so he is making assumptions.  And, he is most likely basing his assumptions on the fact that you don’t worship Jesus in exactly the same way he does.  So, since you aren’t exactly like him, you can’t possibly believe as he does (otherwise you would act like him), ergo, you don’t really believe. 

This attitude is at once condescending and self-centered.  Your friend is telling you, not so subtly, that they think they know better then you do what it is you actually believe or don’t believe.  This is just plain rude and requires an amazing degree of self-obsession, and distrust of others to pull off.  When you tell him you believe, and he refuses to believe you, he is basically calling you a liar.  They might have your best interests at heart, but it is still rude and condescending.  And, why would you consider this person a friend when he thinks you are a liar and considers you a stupid person for not acting exactly as he does.   The problem is that your friend is missing something.  The basic human skill of understanding that the people he encounters in the world are real individuals with real thoughts and real ideas and real lives and that just because someone doesn’t do exactly as he does, doesn’t mean they are missing anything.  They just have a life.  Ignore this person as the ignorant self centered individual they are.