Screaming Extinction Bursts
How to tell when your opponents are close to losing.
The louder they scream and holler, the closer they are to losing. There is a well-known phenomenon in behavioral psychology. That is, when you are extinguishing a behavior, your subject cycles through an extinction burst. This means, they get more aggressive trying to get their way.
When a child is used to getting their way, and suddenly mom and/or dad and/or nanny – does not give them their usual reward, what do they do? They scream, yell and throw a tantrum.
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Why Social Capital is Important
Social capital and trust between people is essential to a thriving society. Here’s why.
According to studies of violence in society there is a significant correlation between violence and income inequality, as well as a lack of social capital. (see this article on Why is America so Violent, the answer may surprise you – http://aninlandvoyage.com/2012/12/30/why-is-america-so-violent-the-answer-may-surprise-you/ for links to the research being cited and analysis. – it’s a great article)
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Rules for Getting Along
Getting along with others is hard.
They don’t agree with us. They have their own issues and concerns. And darn it, they don’t do what we need and want them to do. So we get mad at them.
But perhaps Humanistic compassion can help us find a better way.
- What if … we respect the right of the other person to be different?
- What if … don’t try to reform them?
- What if … we genuinely try to understand them for who they are instead of who we wanted them to be?
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Modern Humanists parents don’t spank.
Or most don’t. Why? Because it’s counterproductive, meaning it isn’t a very good discipline technique because it doesn’t really work to create discipline. It can create temporary compliance, but it does nothing to instill a sense of self-discipline in a child.
And isn’t that actually what most parents want? Kids who are self-disciplined? Kids who choose to do the right thing because, … it’s the right thing to do?
Continue reading “Disobedience”