Suicide and Relational Violence
The insanity of abusive relationships is not something you can understand if you haven’t experienced them.
I’ve wanted to write this essay for a while now. I’ve put it off because it brings up some painful memories for me. A couple of years ago an up and coming Bollywood actress named Jiah Khan committed suicide. She left a 6 page suicide note addressed to her live in boyfriend. While the note is painful to read – what I am going to say next won’t make sense until you read it. It is in English. (http://bollywoodnewsstories.blogspot.com/2013/06/jiah-khans-suicide-letter-revealed-by.html)
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Books you should read
By Dale McGowan. Everyday Humanism seeks to move the discussion of humanism’s positive contributions to life away from the macro-level to focus on the everyday.
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Pride and Accomplishment
Don’t let your pride get in the way of you getting things done.
I have been working out of the library recently. My son is in a half day camp and it’s easier to work in the library than it is to drive home and back. But I don’t always get my work done. Sometimes I talk to people. One day a homeless vet decided I was safe enough to poor his heart out to. He seems like a really good guy despite his tears.
Why is he homeless? Well, like most of us he fell on hard times. This is a man who served his country and did things that he isn’t proud of. He clearly has trauma and guilt related to his service in Vietnam.
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Retaliation and Revenge
We have all been wronged at some point, but that doesn’t mean we should seek revenge.
One of the reasons it is so difficult for managers and teachers to deal with bullying and harassment is that it looks so much like conflict. Most people, when they are hurt get mad. Anger is a defense mechanism (see: Managing Anger in Yourself and Others by Dr. Leon Seltzer – https://humanistlearning.com/angermanagement101/).
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Corporal Punishment and Religion
It is impossible to discuss the morality of corporal punishment on children without addressing the religious beliefs that perpetuate it.
I do not spank my child. Never have. It is unnecessary, abusive and counterproductive to raising a respectful child. How do I know this? I know this because in addition to being a Humanist, I am also an animal trainer. And no reputable animal trainer hits their animals. Why? Because it not only doesn’t work, it strengthens the behavior you don’t want!
If something doesn’t work then there is no good reason to do it. People might persist out of ignorance or superstition, but they aren’t doing it because it works. In the case of hitting and harming a child, because there is no good reason to do it, it’s considered abusive. The only reason that can be given to justify it is a religious one.
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