Does God care about my floors?

Humanist Thought of the Week: 8 17 2010

Debating whether God cares about my floors      

My podcast a couple of weeks ago was about how happiness is a clean floor.

As I just shampooed my carpets, I thought I would expand on these thoughts

It’s a well-known fact that clean floors rarely stay clean for long,

Especially when you have cats who like nothing better than to cough up a hairball on a freshly cleaned floor.

As a result, I am pretty sure that God, if he exists, abhors a clean floor.

I came up with the following bit of tongue in cheek logic to explain God’s unfortunate relationship to my ongoing efforts to keep my floors clean.

If Happiness is a clean floor,
and God abhors a clean floor.
Then God must not want us to be happy

If god does want us to be happy
But he also abhors a clean floor
Then he must be getting on my last nerve

And finally: if god wants us to be happy
But is not able to help us keep our floors clean
Then what good is he?

Should anyone try to answer this last question, please be aware that it was meant rhetorically.

Thank you.


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