Beaus and Bad Vibes

overweight drunk guys without an education don't make good beaus for women with PhDsBlue-collar beau and mom cliques


I realize I haven’t written a “my advice” article in a while.  Been busy and honestly, I haven’t read anything that made me mad.  Yesterday though, Dear Abby was WAY off.

The first question was from “It’s complicated” who is a divorced middle aged professional with a PhD who has been dating an overweight man with a drinking problem who never finished college for seven years. SEVEN!!! She enjoys his company and likes most of his friends but she is afraid he will say something boorish, show up drunk or otherwise embarrass her in front of her friends and peers. So she asked “whether there was something intrinsically wrong with me that I’m ashamed to have the man I love meet people with whom I work and socialize? Is there something wrong with the relationship?” 

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Doubt is a virtue

about Militias


Religious militias are once again a problem. This time a small
tight knit group came up with the stupendously stupid idea to kill a police
officer as a way to get lots of other officers together at a funeral so they
could kill lots of police at one go. What is stunning isn’t that some insane
person came up with such a boneheaded idea. What is stunning is that none of
his friends said – hey – maybe that isn’t such a good idea. Doubt and skepticism
are Humanist virtues for a reason. They keep us out of trouble.

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Learning about Evolution

Learning about Evolution

Learning about Evolution is important.  Not only because it is important to be scientifically literate, but also because Evolution is a unifying concept in science. Scientific disciplines with a historical component, such as astronomy, geology, biology, and anthropology, cannot be taught without a clear understanding of Evolution.  Further, nothing in biology makes sense without the context of Evolution and a clear understanding of Evolutionary biology is critical to our ability to fight diseases.  As an added bonus viewing biology through the lens of Evolution is not only intellectually satisfying, it is downright inspiring.

If you want an update on exactly what the current state of science is on evolution, I recommend Your Inner Fish by Neil Shubin. A friend of mine who teaches high school biology recommended this book to me. It is an excellent book. It is easy to read and really interesting. If you were in school anytime before 2000, this book will help bring you up to date on not only the evidence for evolution, but also what science is capable of now.

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Liberal Atheists more faithful

liberal atheists are more faithful then religious conservativesA lesson for the ladies

Girls – do you just want to find a guy who will be faithful to you – but you keep ending up with guys who cheat?  Well, perhaps you are fishing in the wrong pond.  Turns out that if you want a faithful partner, you need to find yourself a liberal atheist.  This study proves it.   The whole idea that religion and conservatism equate to strong family values is apparently just not true.  Liberal atheism is what leads to strong family values.  The cool part is that this also means you are looking for a guy with higher intelligence. So double plus good. 

Now, keep in mind these are generalizations.  So, you may be able to find a religious conservative who will be faithful, but the odds are against it.  If you were looking for an excuse to give up your faith – this may just be it.  Just be warned, if you want to snag one of these liberal atheist guys – you need to be as well educated as they are.  The good ones generally want girls who are worthy of them and can keep up with their conversation. I speak from experience.

The Great Circumcision Debate

dark underside to the anti-circumcision movement


Look. I have no strong opinions on the subject of circumcision.
What individuals decide to do for their families is fine with me either way.
As far as the data is concerned, there is a slight health benefit to circumcision
and the risks of complication from medical circumcisions in the developed world
are quite small and minor. The general medical consensus is that there is a
slight medical benefit, but not enough to make it mandatory. But you wouldn’t
know that listening to the anti-circumcision lobby. Now, why do I even care
about this? Well, for 3 reasons actually. First, as a Humanist I like to apply
reason and critical thinking to all my decisions. Those skills are beneficial
in all areas of your life, not just when considering religion. The 2nd reason
is because when I was researching whether or not to circumcise my boy I was
stunned by what I found on the anti-circumcision sites. Seriously stunned. Let’s
just say at this point that these people have "issues." The 3rd and
final reason is that these "issue’ ridden individuals are trying to pass
laws that would put half of the adult population of the United States in jail
and put their kids into the foster care system. And no, I am not making this

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Sexual Help for Real People

sex therapy may not helpSexual Help for Real People


Ok – so if you read my blog, you know that I am real big on dealing with the world as it is and not necessarily as you wish it to be.  Dealing with reality constructively will help you be a happier person.  And this is especially true when it comes to sex. And even though I have written about this before, I came across this article written by sex therapist Marty Klein.  I liked it so much – I am linking to it here. “When self-help is part of the problem.” Marty regularly writes about the intersection of sex and politics and is one of the best writers on this topic. Read his blog at:

Comforting the Non-Religious

The greater the grief, the greater the loveComforting People Who Lack Faith


Today in my local paper, a McClatchy Newspaper, in their Faith and Accent section they had a column where they asked two different faith leaders questions about various religious issues.  Todays question was about how to comfort a grieving person who lacks faith.  The answers came from pastors of a Catholic Church and a Unity Church. They should have asked a Humanist Celebrant what we who lack faith need while grieving. Certainly, someone who lacks faith is knowledgeable about this subject then someone who believes.

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Child Abuse Victim Consider’s Suicide

Child Abuse Kills ChildrenAbused Teen Consider’s Suicide


This is from a Dear Abby article posted Saturday Nov 22nd.  It is the 2nd article about the kid writing about his friend JD who is considering suicide because his father abuses him. I decided to write about this because I had friends in high school whose situation was very similar to this.

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