Choice: Responsibility or Freedom

Women's Liberation vs. Choosing to be reponsibleChoice: Responsibility vs. Freedom

If you thought we were past elevatorgate, you were wrong. William Hamby, the Atlanta Atheism Examiner, posted an article where he tried to answer the question of why there aren’t that many women in the Atheism movement. He thought sufficient time had passed since elevatorgate that we could actually talk about solving the problem elevatorgate was supposed to bring to our attention. He did this by datamining. And yes, he is a man after my own heart because that’s what I used to do when I was still a professional in the workaday world. 

Anyway, what he found is apparently pissing off the rabid feminists in the atheist movement because it turns out that what atheist women really care about aren’t the things that rabid feminist atheist women care about. Which means that their prescriptions for solving the problem probably won’t work. What Hamby says he found atheist women are concerned about is politics (not necessarily gender politics, but politics in general), their families and kids and sex (and again, not gender politics sex, but actual sexy sex).

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“In” Love and Off Target

crazy in love“In” Love and Off Target

6/24/08

Question: 

I have been dating a wonderful man for a year. We love each other — no question about that — but when I tell him I’m IN love with him, he never responds. He says he doesn’t know what that means.  He asked me to explain the difference between loving someone and being in love. He says it doesn’t make sense to him. Please help me explain to him what it means to be in love. I need to know that he’s in love with me, not that he just loves me.

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Holiday Grief

Grief During the HolidaysMom Not Coping Well with Son’s Death

11/7/07

(Note: This is a Dear Abbey article and not Billy Graham, but sometimes she is just off base and this was one of those times).

Question:
My younger brother died unexpectedly two years ago. He was only 27. Since then, my parents have befriended his close friends. There are two couples, the "Smiths," who have a baby they named after my brother (my parents are his godparents), and the "Joneses" (Bill Jones was my brother’s best friend growing up). My parents want to invite them to every holiday dinner or event we have. My husband and I host the dinners at our home. The problem is, the Smiths and the Joneses are inconsiderate guests. They are always late — an hour or more — and my mother always wants to wait for them! They eat, run, and barely talk to my husband. Sometimes they fail to show up without even a phone call. My parents are very forgiving and do not seem offended by it. My husband says we will no longer host any holiday dinners if the Smiths and Joneses are coming. However, I don’t want to upset my parents. I understand their need to keep a part of my brother alive. Nor do I want to stop having holiday parties at my home. Are my husband and I wrong to say enough is enough and ban the friends? How should we handle this without upsetting my already emotionally fragile parents? — DISGUSTED HOSTESS

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Getting Over Hate

hateGetting

over Hate

 7/17/07

Question:
I know you aren’t supposed to hate people, but

someone hurt me very badly a couple of years back, and there just isn’t any way I can stop hating him for what he did. Maybe if he asked for my

forgiveness I could do it, but he hasn’t (and probably never will). What would you say to someone like me?

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